How to cut costs now to travel later – Zafigo.com, May 29 2018

Being unable to afford to travel is one of the most common issues you hear from those dreaming of an exotic getaway. True, most of us can’t afford to quit our day jobs for a life on the road, but that doesn’t mean we can’t explore the world. With a bit of budgeting and a few small sacrifices, even those with the lightest of wallets can bring their faraway fantasies to life.

Cut out (expensive) coffee

Buying takeaway coffees isn’t only bad for the environment, it also chips away at your bank balance. With a basic coffee in a café chain costing at least RM10 (approximately USD2.50) in Malaysia, a daily cup of the black stuff will amount to a minimum of RM3650 (approximately USD918) in a single year.

At time of writing, that can score you return flights to New Zealand, with some change to spare! If you still need your coffee – and most of us do – swap trips to coffee chains for a brew at a food court or kopitiam (traditional coffee shop). Better yet, buy a reusable flask and have home-brewed java on the go.

Ditch the gym

Before you use this as an excuse to morph into a couch potato, hear me out. Exercise is a key component of maintaining optimal physical and mental health, so by no means should you give it up entirely. After all, you want to be ready to tackle those holiday hikes right? However, gym memberships can be extremely expensive and by cutting it out in favour of more cost effective forms of exercise, you can rake the bucks back in.

YouTube has a whole host of channels offering free fitness classes, from yoga to Zumba to circuit training and everything in between. Those who tend to drive to their gym will also save on fuel money, toll and parking.

If working out in the great outdoors is more your thing, no problem. Activities such as walking, running and swimming in nature are extremely beneficial forms of exercise. Grab a friend and a bottle of water, and get moving!

Seek out deals

You needn’t put life on hold now just to save for life in the future. Saving certainly involves cutbacks, but you don’t need to sacrifice everything you love and enjoy. It’s all about making smarter choices, not neglecting yourself.

For those who love monthly massages or regular trips to the hairdresser, seek out monthly in-house deals or discounted sessions offered by practicing students. If eating out in good restaurants is what makes you tick, take advantage of early bird deals or share a large main with a friend. Books and clothes can be bought online or at flea markets, which has an added environmental benefit as well as a financial one.

It’s also worth keeping a close eye on sites like Fave, that offers deals on practically everything in Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia.

Stay in

Staying in is the new going out, didn’t you hear? Perhaps not, but by opting to socialise in somebody’s home rather than at a restaurant or bar, you’ll certainly decrease your weekly spending.

Giving up your thrice-weekly lunch – not to mention coffee, dinner and drink – dates with friends may feel like the ultimate sacrifice now, but you’re certainly not going to regret it when boarding a plane in a few months. So why not tell the gang your intentions and kick-start regular social gatherings at home?

Pot luck dinners are a fun way of enjoying a feast without it costing the earth. The fact that everyone brings a dish means that you’ll always get to try something new and also, that not just one person is slaving away in the kitchen. Coffee dates, cocktail nights, cosy movie evenings and karaoke sessions can also be replicated at home for a fraction of the cost.

Sell online

As the saying goes, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Most of us are likely to have some clothes, CDs, sports equipment, electronics, or all of the above gathering dust in our cupboard after years of underuse. A clear-out is always good for your headspace and your wallet.

Organise a car boot sale to sell some of your old items, otherwise, avail of one of the many online platforms allowing you to do so. You won’t earn a fortune, but every little helps. Just try not to be an overly-sentimental hoarder when looking through old things.

Budget

Examining exactly what you spend in a month may be a shocking and painful task, but it’s a key part of your savings plan. Determine the amount you require for essentials such as rent, food and transport, add in an allowance for some treats and emergencies to keep you sane and you have your budget. Be strict with yourself and put anything outside of this directly into a separate account to avoid temptation.

(First published on Zafigo.com. Available online at: http://zafigo.com/stories/zafigo-stories/how-to-cut-costs-now-to-travel-later/)

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Asia’s best summertime festivals – Zafigo.com, May 16 2018

It’s already halfway through the year, and if you haven’t been to a festival yet, it’s time to get organising! Over the next three months, countries across the continent will spring to life as music, cultural, and food festivals kick off. With so many to choose from, and something for every preference and budget, here’s a taster of what’s out there:

Music magic

For many of us, festivals mean just one thing: Music. There’s nothing better than hearing your favourite band live in the great outdoors while chilling with good friends. Even if you don’t know all of the artists, music festivals give a great opportunity to make some new discoveries.

At the 20th annual Rainforest World Music Festival in Sarawak, Malaysia (July 13-15, 2018), you’re bound to do just that, as a wide array of international and local artists will converge in the stunning heart of Borneo’s jungle for the occasion. Acts include Tunisia’s Yallah Bye, and home-grown talent SwarAsia Malaysia, to name a few.

The Fuji Rock Festival (July 27-29, 2018) in Japan has the added bonus of a breath-taking backdrop, with the majestic Mount Fuji presiding over the event’s 10 stages. This year’s event includes some big-name acts like headliners N.E.R.D., Kendrick Lamar, Bob Dylan and Vampire Weekend, while drumming circles, workshops, massages and ‘Cinema Fuji’ will ensure you won’t get bored.

Other top music festival picks are the diverse and fun-filled Good Vibes Festival (July 21-22, 2018) in Genting Highlands, Malaysia, and Bali’s Sunny Side Up Tropical Festival (July 20-21, 2018) in Indonesia which offers the perfect concoction of music, art, and sustainability.

Culture vulture

There are plenty of impressive festivals in Malaysia, and the month-long Georgetown Festival (held every August) in Penang is as good as it gets. A true tourist magnet set in the streets of one a UNESCO World Heritage site, this annual event consistently holds an impressive line-up that showcases concerts, art exhibitions, theatre, dance, storytelling… Need we go on?

Another one for Malaysia, but this time in Borneo and cited as a celebration of the promotion of peace through culture, Sabah’s International Folklore Festival (July 23-30, 2018) in Kota Kinabalu is certainly worth a trip.

Dating back to the ninth century, Japan’s Gion Matsuri Festival in Kyoto (July) is one of the country’s most famous festivals; and for good reason. With origins rooted in an ancient religious purification ritual, and a name stemming from the famous Gion District, this is a must-go if you want to get a taste of traditional Japanese culture during your trip. Festival highlights include a float procession (a series of elaborate floats that often require teams of 50 to pull them), the procession of mikoshi (portable shrines) and  Nagoshi-sai (summer purification ceremony).

Other noteworthy festivals are China’s colourful Dragon Boat Festival (known as Duanwu), centred mainly in Shanghai and Hong Kong.

Foodie fests

While most modern-day music and culture festivals offer a diverse range of delicacies – one needs energy for all that partying – there are many events where food takes centre stage. For instance, the Singapore Food Festival which runs from July 13-29, 2018, requires an expandable waistband to allow for all of that feasting! Visitors can gorge on many of Singapore’s best local eats, hear the stories behind the dishes, attend the ‘Fifty Cent Feast’ and test their own skills at cooking workshops before dancing off their dinner to the sounds of local musicians.

Meanwhile, fruit fans can rejoice as the Rayong Fruit Festival in Rayong, Thailand is set to return from June 1-5 , 2018. Dine on a delectable assortment of locally-grown fruits while supporting local farmers in the process. Delhi’s International Mango Festival (July 9 and 10, 2018) is also a good choice for fans of the five-a-day.

Finally, the Mogumogu Festival (short for ‘more goods, more gourmet’ and also known as MoguFes) is a mouth-watering celebration of world foods being held in Hokkaido, Japan from August 5-11, 2018.

Weird and wonderful

There are some things that you have to experience once in your lifetime, and Asia’s festival schedule certainly contains a few things worth putting on the bizarre bucket-list.

The Cheung Chau Buddhist Bun festival (May 19-23, 2018) in Hong Kong is a unique cultural extravaganza that culminates in the Bun Grabbing Contest at midnight on the last day of the celebrations. This sees the construction of a 60-foot tower of buns, up which participants scramble in the aim to collect as many buns as possible. It’s certainly not for the faint-hearted!

If you’re not afraid of getting a little bit dirty, the Boryeong Mud Festival in South Korea (July 13-22, 2018) is the place for you! Held near Daecheon Beach, the aim of the event is to embrace your inner child and roll around in the mud through activities such as a giant mud bath, mud body painting and mud prison.

Finally, if you’re in need of a good conversation starter, tell friends you’re heading for the Hokkai Heso Matsuri (belly button festival) in Furano, Japan on July 28 and 29 , 2018. The main highlight of this is the ‘Hokkai belly button dance competition’ that attracts entrants in their thousands, and involves painting large faces on your belly. Local restaurants also get involved in ‘belly button gourmet’ by preparing unique dishes that somehow relate to the belly button.

(First published on Zafigo.com on May 16 2018. Available online at: http://zafigo.com/stories/zafigo-stories/asia-summertime-festivals-2018/)

An introvert’s survival guide to the workplace – Irish Times, March 20 2018

Do you dread those morning brainstorm meetings, avoid small talk by the coffee machine at all costs, or simply feel drained by the frenzied office environment?

You probably don’t need a personality assessment to figure out whether you’re an introvert or not, but navigating your way through the contemporary workplace may require some figuring out.

We spoke to the experts about how introverts can cope with the social pressures of the 9-5.

Know your worth

Since its 2012 release, Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking has been credited with championing the essential role of introverts in society. In the New York Times bestseller, the author regularly refers to some of the world’s most influential people including Charles DarwinRosa Parks and Gandhi.

One thing they had in common? They were all introverts.

Co-founder of Irish remote jobs hub Abodoo. com Vanessa Tierney says employers are now recognising the importance of having a diverse workforce, one that balances the outspoken folk with the quieter, deep thinkers. “With the tech revolution, we have discovered that introverts can create amazing businesses,” she says. “The workplace is becoming more of a balanced field.”

Kevin QuigleyResearch and Innovation Psychologist at Seven Psychology at Work, says that people have no reason to believe that being an introvert is a bad thing. He refers to what are known as the five personality traits: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. “Research is clear, that however high you are on the extroversion scale, it doesn’t affect work performance and this is true across all sectors. Conscientiousness and openness are important. They predict success.”

Find your niche

While it’s impossible to love every aspect of work, dreading each day because the environment doesn’t suit your personality is a waste of time for you and your employer. Instead of trying to mould yourself into a top salesperson, take the time to recognise your personal strengths, preferences and work goals.

“If you’re an introvert, it’s important to be aware of it. Different personalities are more naturally suited to different roles,” explains Quigley, who adds that finding a job that suits your personality is not only important for productivity, but for mental wellbeing.

“We talk about bringing the whole self to work. This can be difficult if the role is not a fit with your personality. You can pretend for a while, but over an extended period of time, it can be very draining.”

Take time out

In her book, Cain notes the difference between a shy person and an introvert. While a shy person may avoid social interactions, an introvert can be good socially, but becomes overly stimulated with too much socialisation.

“One of the challenges for introverts is that they prefer less stimulation than extroverts. Open plan offices can be fine for them, but recharging their batteries and recovering from this kind of environment will take some time,” explains associate professor in Organisational Psychology at DCU, Dr Janine Bosak. “Getting the opportunity to break out of that environment and find a quiet corner is critical during the day. Research in occupational health psychology shows that people who constantly are not able to refill their energy resources will burn out over time and experience emotional exhaustion.”

Be prepared

In any career, you’ll eventually be required to speak out and that’s bound to feel uncomfortable. If an introvert is also shy, the initial job interview itself can be a stressful situation.

“Shy introverts benefit from thinking about what questions could arise so if their level of anxiety goes up, at least they are prepared,” advises Dr Bosak. “For the general introvert, a challenge for them is overstimulation. Sometimes jobseekers may have multiple interviews in the one day. My advice for introverts: if possible, have the interviews spaced out so you have time to turn inward, replenish your energy, and think through how things went.”

According to Quigley, practising communication skills can also prove useful in all aspects of work, from the first interview to the weekly office meetings. He recommends beginning with one-to-one conversations and building up from there. “When you’re more confident, you’ll be more willing to speak up in a meeting scenario,” he said. “Put yourself in public speaking environments such as Toastmasters or any situation that make you a little bit nervous. Developing communication skills is the only way to overcome your fear.”

Have the conversation

If any aspects of your role are proving overwhelming, don’t be afraid to let your employer know that you’re struggling.

“I think we are in a culture now of open, honest transparency,” explains Tierney. “It has never been as good as it is today to speak about how you feel. Despite feeling at times that you’re not part of a clique, you must remember that you’re a valued member of staff. If you’re finding it hard, be brave, make an approach and have the conversation.”

Tips for employers

With many contemporary work environments leaning towards the trends of open-plan spaces, networking and team projects, it’s little wonder that introverts can find work a challenge.

Without having to completely overhaul the office, there are things an employer can do to make work comfortable for a diverse range of employees.

– Tierney trains employers to use profiling tools during recruitment in order to learn more about employees and their work preferences. “A CV is only a quarter of what someone is. Their life experiences, personality, behaviour, motivation and speed to learn are just as important.”

– Quigley agrees that being “aware of employee’s differences” is crucial for employers. “It’s important to have open conversations with people, find their appropriate work style and ask what an individual is seeking from a job.”

– In addition to “embracing diversity”, Dr Bosak recommends putting infrastructure in place in the office such as couches for those who need some quiet time throughout the day.

(First published by the Irish Times on March 20 2018. Available online at: https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/an-introvert-s-survival-guide-to-the-workplace-1.3424024)

5 ways to make friends in a new city – Zafigo.com, September 12 2017

The initial stages of moving to a new city can be incredibly exciting as you get to explore a new place and all that it has to offer. Then, reality kicks in and you may find yourself feeling lonely and missing things back home. The first few weeks of living in a new city can be particularly lonely, especially when flying solo. While it’s easy enough to pack up your clothes, books and even furniture during a move, there are some things you just can’t load into a suitcase, namely friends and family.

A new group of friends won’t be handed to you on a silver platter, and forming new friendships at an adult stage in life is certainly not as easy as during your playground days. But it doesn’t have to be difficult – so long as you’re willing to make an effort and lean outside your comfort zone.

#1 Join a social group

No matter how lonely you feel, you are certainly never alone. Regardless of where you go, there are plenty of like-minded women seeking a friend to share a coffee and a chat with. It’s just a case of finding them! Thankfully, there are several platforms that have been established to help you do just that.

On moving to a new town in Ireland, I joined the local GirlCrew branch and it was one of the best decisions I made. This women-only social network, which now has 46 branches worldwide and over 90,000 members, allows women in the same area to link up online and organise meet-ups and events.

While the first meeting was a bit daunting (and felt a bit like online dating!), once I got to chatting with people, I realised that there are so many other women out there in the same boat as me. Bowling nights, lunch dates and nights out ensued, and I can definitely say that I formed a few lasting friendships as a result.

Girl Gone International is a similar organisation for women worldwide. I am a member of the local group in Da Nang, Vietnam and love meeting both local women and expatriates alike at the fun monthly meet-ups. Not only has GGI brought me brilliant new friends; it has also given me some memorable experiences (such as a movie night on the beach and a Vietnamese cooking class).

#2 Find a new hobby

Have you always wanted to try yoga? Or perhaps you fancy yourself as a guitarist? Whatever your interest, moving to a new place is the perfect opportunity to start something different and in the process, meet new people. Striking up conversations with strangers doesn’t come easy to everybody, but joining a class that interests you ensures that you will always have a conversation starter.

Personally, I find signing up for a full-term course to be the best option. Once your money is handed over, you are more likely to stick with your new hobby and hopefully, continue to develop new friendships along the way. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t the most talented person in the class; I recently joined a Zumba group in Da Nang and am certain that my moves are more akin to Bigfoot’s than Beyoncé’s! As long as you’re having fun and socialising with other people, that’s what matters.

#3 Work from a co-working space or cafe

Working on my laptop at home can feel pretty isolating. But I’ve found that it doesn’t have to be this way. If you’re lucky enough to work for yourself or as a freelancer, you can turn your work days into social opportunities by working in a public space. Many large cities and small towns have established co-working spaces where you can rent a spot to work and rub shoulders with others throughout the work day. Some of these spaces also organise social activities and events to allow people to get to know their ‘co-workers’ and share ideas.

A cheaper and easier alternative is to work from a local cafe. Find out where the most popular spots are (in my case, anywhere with strong WiFi, strong coffee and good air-conditioning) and prop yourself up with your laptop and a cafe latte. Stir up a conversation with the person at the table next to you if the opportunity arises. Chatting with the café staff could also turn into a chance to make a new friend. At the very least, working from a cafe will allow you to enjoy a change of scenery and some delicious coffee. Who can argue with that?

#4 Be a volunteer

There’s no point in wasting your free and alone time feeling sorry for yourself or pining for home. No matter where you are in the world, there is always an organisation or cause that is crying out for helping hands. Why not offer to do some work at a local animal shelter or get involved in a weekly soup run?

If you find yourself unable to commit to a weekly volunteer position, seek out one-off events such as beach clean-ups or charity fundraisers. Such admirable causes attract people from all walks of life, so you are guaranteed to meet a diverse range of people.

If you find someone that you click with, don’t be afraid to ask them out for a coffee afterwards. What’s the worst that could happen? Chances are they will only be delighted to wind down and chat after a busy day.

#5 Keep an open mind

Sometimes new friends can be found in the most unlikely places. For this reason, it is so important to keep an open mind and remain patient when you move abroad. That girl you’re chatting with on a long bus journey home could become a firm friend. During a stint living in Paris, I met one of my best friends there completely by chance when she approached me to ask for directions.

While asking me how to get anywhere is a grave mistake (navigation isn’t my strong suit), her decision to approach me certainly was not. It turned out that we have a lot in common. Not only were we both going to the same place and equally as lost as the other, we were also living away from home and enjoyed many of the same activities.

When we finally reached our destination, we swapped phone numbers and arranged to meet up for a drink the following week. Soon, a strong friendship blossomed, and over the next few months we explored the beautiful streets and sights of Paris together. Fast forward four years later and we live elsewhere, but we still remain in touch. And that’s how I know that each time I move some place new, I’ll always be able to find new friends.

(First published on Zafigo.com on September 12 2017. Available online at: http://zafigo.com/tips/make-friends-when-move-new-city/)

I survived a bus crash in Vietnam – Zafigo.com, July 11 2017

Vaccinations? Check. Passport? Check. Visa? Check.

After months of route-planning and preparations, the countdown is over. My boyfriend and I are ready for our long-awaited backpacking trip around Vietnam and Thailand, and everything is finally sorted. But I soon learn that no matter how organised you are, or how many travel guides you skim through, there are some things that you just cannot prepare for.

It’s day four. We have just checked out of our room on Cat Ba island, and laden down with backpacks, make the sweaty trek to the bus stop. Our next stop is Hoi An, where we will finally experience the vibrant lantern festival that I had been gazing at online for months.

Before my trip, people had warned me off mopeds, drinking tap water or swimming at certain beaches. But buses? Nobody mentioned them. As far as I am concerned, the bus is safe territory.

I throw my heavy pack underneath the now-packed coach and settle into my seat, sandwiched between two couples at the back. “This is going to be a cosy ride,” I think to myself, as I wave at my boyfriend who is perched beside the driver. Except it was anything but.

Within several minutes of rolling off the car ferry, the deafening honk of a horn suddenly drowns out my music. I had been in Vietnam for four days and know that car horns are basically background music here. So I choose to ignore it…until it grows louder, more urgent, more frequent. I try to steal a glimpse out the window but the dated curtains conceal my view.

And then I feel it.

The powerful force that hit the left side of our bus and sends it crashing over. Beeping is replaced by screaming and the screech of steel against concrete as we toss and turn, like a blender full of bodies and luggage.

Some say that when you’re in an accident, life flashes before your eyes. But the only thing I have running through my mind at that moment is, “This is where I die…”

When we screech to a halt, I look around to find absolute carnage. Broken glass. Crying children. Blood. I still don’t know what had happened when, leg throbbing, I clamber out through the emergency exit. The heat is the first thing to hit me. Then reality. A huge articulated truck is responsible for knocking us off track and sending us sliding for about 40 metres. Looking back, it’s a wonder that we all survived.

Other passengers find their way off the bus on their own or in the arms of another. Some are much worse off than others. A distraught man screams for help as he crouches over his unconscious, blood-soaked wife who he soon lifts into a hospital-bound taxi.

I find my boyfriend and hug him close, speechless but relieved that we are alright. Soon, we too are rushed off to hospital, where we are surrounded by doctors and nurses, speaking to us in an unfamiliar tongue while examining every inch of our weary and shaken bodies.

Several hours of prodding and broken conversations later, we are discharged with two souvenirs: A swollen purple leg for me, eight stitches for my boyfriend. In our torn and blood-stained clothes, we make our way to the nearest hotel and await word about our luggage.

We spoke long into the following nights, questioning whether we should continue our trip. In the end, we decide to keep going. The following six weeks are a struggle as we lug bruised legs and egos around Asia. Yet, choosing to get back on the road is the best decision we ever made.

Before our accident, I felt invincible and to be honest, took many things for granted. The accident, albeit terrifying, brought me quite literally crashing back down to earth. For a while, I became cautious, too afraid to try anything that felt even remotely dangerous. Those feelings soon cleared, making way for a sense of understanding, an understanding that some things in life are outside of our control. But we shouldn’t let this stop us from living. If we can’t always be in the driving seat, we might as well sit back and enjoy the view.

(First published on Zafigo.com on July 11 2017. Available online at: http://zafigo.com/stories/zafigo-stories/survived-bus-crash-in-vietnam/)

Families unite to combat eating disorders – Irish Independent, June 5 2017

Since its inception, the New Maudsley Model has helped thousand of families. Amy Lewis talks to one of the founders, Gillian Todd, at her recent workshop in Dublin and she meets parents attending to find out how it has helped them cope with their loved ones’ eating disorders.

When families are dealing with a child who is suffering from an eating disorder, the symptoms begin to play a central role in family life and often the parents and siblings find themselves lost at sea, not knowing how to help – this is where the New Maudsley Model steps in.

The New Maudsley Model is a skills-based programme that aims to helps carers better understand and support their loved ones. It was established by Professor Janet Treasure and Todd (pictured) ­- former Consultant for Eating Disorders and Clinical Nurse Leader with the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust respectively – who developed it through extensive research coupled with professional experience. The workshop encourages carers to engage in their loved one’s recovery and helps to switch their focus from blame to more effective communication.

“A carer can often be critical and over-protective of their loved one. They may also feel that the illness is their own fault, which of course it isn’t,” said Todd, who has worked with eating disorder patients since 1984.

“Janet developed characters that describe how not to behave. The Ostrich – buries their head in the sand and feels completely hopeless. The Jellyfish – is emotional and upset. The Rhino – is a person who shouts, argues and fights. A Kangaroo carer – puts their baby in their pouch and won’t let them do anything.

“We encourage carers to be a more compromised version. Be a St Bernard: more calm, quiet, unflappable and dependable. We also use the image of a dolphin who nudges, guides and coaches their loved one along.”

Carers are also taught about the psychology behind eating disorders, as well as how to cope with scenarios that may arise at home. This is done through role-playing exercises and practicing OARS: Open questions, Affirmations, Reflective listening and Summarising. In addition, the workshops offer attendees the tools to deal with clinical settings.

A unique part of New Maudsley Model is that it’s aimed at carers of adults and children.

“In the past, carers of adults with eating disorders felt abandoned and excluded. This is one thing that’s out there that they can go to,” explained Todd.

Since they were established, the New Maudsley Model workshops have been facilitated worldwide by its founders or other trained professionals. Over 70 carers attended Todd’s recent two-day course in the Clayton Hotel in Leopardstown, Dublin, in the hope of going home better-equipped to help their loved ones. Parents, aunts, siblings, friends and partners travelled long distances for the course, with some seeking help for children as young as nine-years-old. Several psychologists from the HSE Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) also attended, as did representatives of Bodywhys, who supported the workshop.

Peter travelled from Ballina with his wife to the workshop, having previously attended a one-day course. His daughter (29) has been suffering with an eating disorder since she was in transition year.

“We first became aware of her illness seven years ago when she was in university,” he explained. “She always ate in front of us so we never suspected it. She used to see a doctor in university who, after a number of years, persuaded her to tell us.”

On first learning of their daughter’s illness, Peter’s family felt extremely alone. They sought all help available but it wasn’t until attending their first New Maudsley Model workshop that they were offered some relief.

“For the first time, we felt that there were people out there like us,” said Peter. “When you have a child with an eating disorder, the focus is on them,” he continued. “I remember asking a social worker, ‘is there anything for us carers?’ You just want somebody to tell you it’s ok, not to lose hope and to try to have compassion.”

Along with offering them support, Peter said that the practical element of the workshop gave them the tools to communicate more effectively with their daughter.

Though she is still battling the illness, the workshop has encouraged them to remain hopeful for her future. He also credits it with giving them the ‘courage’ to recently take their first holiday in years.

While Todd led the latest workshop, several others have been held nationwide in recent months. These were facilitated by professionals who have been trained in the New Maudsley method by its founders.

Galway native Paul and his wife attended a workshop last November, soon after their 11-year-old son was diagnosed with an eating disorder.

“When your child refuses the food you give them, it can become very frustrating. We needed to understand his feelings in order to help him,” explained Paul.

According to Paul, the workshop taught them how to support their child, while meeting other parents gave them some positivity for the future. He recommends it to all carers.

“I read about various methods but that’s the one that worked for us,” explained Paul, who said his son’s health is now much improved. “When your child is young or in their teens, they are with you almost 24/7. If you know how to guide them through recovery at home, it has to be better than just one hour a week with a counsellor.

“The big thing we took away from it is that you really have to throw yourself into their recovery 10,000pc,” he added.

When Connie’s daughter was first diagnosed with an eating disorder, she didn’t know where to turn for help. Attending her first New Maudsley Model workshop gave her the support she was seeking and in an effort to spread this to other carers, she soon invited the facilitators to hold one in her hometown in the west of Ireland.

“You do get information elsewhere but when you attend these courses and gain support through them, that is the most important thing.”

A Whatsapp group that allows carers to keep in touch following the workshops is something she also credits as a great comfort.

“There is huge power in people supporting each other,” she said.

Connie’s daughter (21) has been receiving treatment in London for six months and though she is still in recovery, the family are confident that she is getting the best help available. Connie also feels that the workshops have helped them to better support their loved one.

“We know more about what is going on for her and she is feeling more understood,” she said.

The New Maudsley Model workshops were not available in Ireland when Catherine’s daughter was caught in the grip of anorexia four years ago. However, on learning about it through a colleague, the Dublin-based GP went to London to attend them.

“Parents can get bogged down with the cause of an eating disorder but I learned that this is less important than the factors that maintain it,” she explained. “If there is stress at home, that feeds in to the eating disorder.”

According to Catherine, the workshops were ‘vital’ in helping her daughter through recovery.

“They encouraged us to create an environment of compassion and support, rather than blame. My daughter realised the illness wasn’t her fault and that it didn’t destroy the family. She learned that everyone was behind her to get better.”

Catherine’s daughter, now aged 16, is fully recovered. However, as a GP, Catherine regularly meets parents who are in the same position that she once was. She urged them all to attend the recent workshop.

“Parents were once blamed for the illness but that myth has been debunked. Parents are now part of the solution,” added Catherine.

Many of the New Maudsley Model workshops, including the most recent one, were arranged by Paula Crotty – a Dublin mother whose 23-year-old daughter has battled an eating disorder for over three years. Since attending her first workshop, Paula has been working to get New Maudsley firmly established in Ireland and as a result, Bodywhys recently announced that they will adopt and run the courses in the future. In the meantime, Paula continues to support fellow carers in various ways, such as organising meetings after the workshops and sharing advice.
Paula also established the Whatsapp group which over 70 carers view as a lifeline. The option to join is offered at the end of each workshop.

“If someone is having a low day, group members can give them encouragement to keep their head above the water. It’s also useful if somebody has a question or needs a therapist recommendation,” she said.

Following Todd’s recent workshop, Bodywhys made the decision to adopt the New Maudsley workshops alongside their existing services. However, according to their Training and Development Manager, Harriet Parsons, facilitators will need to be trained in the method before they can commence.

Bodywhys currently offers several supports to carers including a helpline, email support and a free downloadable book. They also run their free PiLaR programme for families of adults and children, which educates on eating disorders and provides advice on supporting someone through recovery.

 

■ Gillian will return to Dublin to facilitate another New Maudsley workshop on September 9 and 10. For more information on the method or to reserve a place, contact newmaudsleyworkshop@gmail.com.

■ Bodywhys run their PiLaR (Peer-Led Resiliance) programme in various locations around the country. The free evening course, which is run by Bodywhys in conjunction with local mental health services, takes place over four consecutive Mondays. Places are free but limited. To book a place or for more information contact Harriet at helpline@bodywhys.ie. Bodywhys helpline: 1890 200 444

Email support: alex@body whys.ie

(First published in the Irish Independent on June 5 2017. Also available online at: http://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/healthy-eating/families-unite-to-combat-eating-disorders-35781838.html)

Wexford Drama Group celebrates 50 years in the spotlight – Wexford People, December 10 2016

Wexford Drama Group celebrated their 50th anniversary in theatrical fashion with a celebration in the Irish National Heritage Park recently.

The group pulled out all of the stops to ensure the night was unforgettable, with plenty of drama, music and nostalgia to keep the crowd going. Over 60 people attended the event, which marked an end to the celebrations for this year.

Mayor of Wexford Frank Staples held a Civic Reception for Wexford Drama Group at the beginning of the evening. He spoke about the history of the group and, on behalf of the people of Wexford, expressed his pride in having such an organisation in the community.

It was a nostalgic evening for many as members from years gone by joined together with current members. Three of the former members – Des Waters, Jean Gould and Noreen Colfer – were part of the original group founded 50 years ago and in honour of this, they were presented with a lifetime membership by the current members. Throughout the night, different generations of the group performed short pieces, while old memorabilia such as posters and photos were dotted around the venue. A particular highlight was a moving video featuring interviews with some of the older members, which was compiled by John Michael Murphy.

Chairperson of the group Carol Long said a few words to the crowd, as did Phil Lyons, who shared some of his memories about his years in the group. Phil was also part of the event’s organising committee, along with Aine Gannon, Hilda Conway and Paul Walsh.

To top everything off, everyone enjoyed a meal, music by Damian Nolan and plenty of dancing until the early hours.

‘It was a really great night. It was lovely to mark the occasion as people do come and go. The event got people back in touch with the group,’ said PRO of Wexford Drama Group Tom O’Leary.

The night followed on from an event in Wexford Library the previous day, during which excerpts from the group’s first play ‘The Heiress’ were performed by former and current members. The play was produced by the group back in 1966 and in honour of the occasion, original cast members Jean Gould and Noreen Colfer played their parts once more. An exhibition of photographs and memorabilia of the last 50 years was also unveiled.

Following a successful weekend, the show must go on for the drama group. The will now turn their attention to their next production ‘Portia Coughlan’ by Marina Carr which will hit the Arts Centre stage in February.

(First published in the Wexford People newspaper: print edition. Also available online at: http://www.wexfordpeople.ie/news/wexford-drama-group-celebrates-50-years-in-the-spotlight-35270067.html)